Marriage

What is marriage?

I’m so tired of being have such a misconception of marriage. Therefore I thought I would explain how I feel about marriage and what I think about it. The dictionary defines “marriage” as the following:

1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.

3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

5. any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.

6. a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture.

7. Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock.

It is said that marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. The popular belief is true to much extent, because it is a special bond shared between two souls, who tie the wedding knot after promising to be companions for a lifetime. It is the physical, mental and spiritual unison of two souls. It brings significant stability and substance to human relationships. It plays a crucial role in transferring the culture and civilization from one generation to the other. The key to successful marriage is love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness. While many couples are able to find all the key ingredients in their marital relationships, others find one element or more lacking in their bond. This gives rise to consequences that are not always expected, or desired. This is a reason why a number of couples face adverse consequences, like divorce. One of the visible reasons why married couples find marriage as an intimidating bond is that they face a number of problems, while being in the relationship. Lack of trust, mutual respect, love and understanding contribute to the deterioration of the bond.

See not everyone views marriage like this. I have been the type of woman that only wanted to be married once but that has come and gone. A huge part of me hurts because that was taken away from me. I am the person that says, “Divorce is not an option.” However, it takes two to make and break a marriage. I wasn’t given a choice in my marriage. I was never told what was happening and there was no communication. I tried over and over to communicate but I was the only one talking. When Chad left it just yanked me, physically, emotionally and spiritually. When you lose someone that has been a huge part of your life it brings many to the question, "What do I do now." I have asked myself that question many times. I can't answer that question but I am trying to live life as God would want me to for my family and myself. Maybe I am not physically or emotionally equipped to just turn my head, flip my hair and say "on to the next one." Maybe it's just the way that God made me and made me to love deep, love hard, be open minded, relentless, inquisitive, among many other things. I love the fact that I feel so much and have the desire to succeed along with being strong willed. When I love, which hasn't happened often, I love deep, rare and genuine As, Greg Behrendt would say, " Chances are he's not going to suddenly say "Oh my Gosh, I am totally in love with you, still and I want to make things work."" However, many just move on right away as if the other person didn't exist and doesn't matter but the fact is they did and they do. More than likely they are a huge part of whom you are and who you will continue to be as you go forward with your life with or without them.

You know I have never said i was perfect and I know I have my fair share of mistakes. It would of just been really nice to be told the truth and to not be lead on. I used to have so many walls up in my life that I really couldn't get out from behind them myself. That is a huge part of me that has changed and I will not let it revert back. I loved deep and got hurt in the long run but that is no excuse for me to put my walls back up. Nor will I put on an act to make people think I am amazing. That is a false perception and I WILL NOT become that type of person. People have to realize that you aren't going to be okay, you are going to cry but you are going to have to hold your head up and try, it just takes time. I have never been one to act like I am something I am not so why would I put on a false perception now? I am not sure where my life is heading, God has the controls and right now and I’m okay with that. I would like to think Chad cared and that he really did love me beyond any of this actions or lack there of. In my opinion, it's okay to grieve his loss, and it’s okay to get mad, it’s okay to not understand, and it’s okay to miss him. It is how you handle the disappointment that makes you who you are. I won’t, however, tolerate being ran over and smashed down like I am nothing. I am a child of God and I was meant for more than that. I wish sometimes that people could see the world through others eyes. It would definitely make for easier times in so many lives'! J Bottom line, if you can remember the love you experienced within the relationship and uphold it, you will come through feeling less bitter, hence healing faster.

Some information was obtained from http://weddings.iloveindia.com/features/what-is-marriage.html.