At Last

As today rolls by the song "At Last" comes to mind. Etta James knew what she was doing when she sang this song. For me it has a different meaning. For almost a year now my life has been in sort of limbo. I have had the title of being "married" without actually the act of "being married." When asked I told people I was married but when asked where my ring was I began to tell them I was "separated." The big "D" I knew would be coming next. See for the past 4+ years I had been hiding under a rock. I thought by being married it would change different circumstances in my life and that everything would just magically work out. I guess I assumed my husband (ex-husband now) would turn into the man I had always knew he could be. There was so much potential, ambition and drive there but apparently I was the only one who saw it...I was the rose colored glasses and pink hearing aids! ;) But I learned a difficult and hard lesson...you cannot change anyone unless they want to be changed. See people have a tendency to change and become someone who they think you want to be with and lose themselves in lies. They hide the truth for so long that they forget who they are and spend too much time pretending to be someone else. See...I fell in love with someone else. I fell in love with this awesome man of God that was, sweet, caring, handsome, free, not complicated, honest, a little rough around the edges but I loved him. Little did I know that was an act and that really wasn’t who he was. God showed me that time and time again but I never got in tune with my mind, body and soul about it.... AT LAST....I quit wanting what Ashly wants and I started looking at what the Lord was showing me and the people around me were concerned for me. I learned on October 5th that my husband was no husband at all. Then I learned again on September 27th what God was telling me all along. I often think about what would of happened if I would of followed the path that God put right in front of me instead of took a detour. I’m glad I did take that detour. Because of that I am a MUCH stronger woman of God and I value things I never did before. I learned that we give the devil too much credit sometimes! So this is the first day of the rest of my life...Day 1 of being Ashly Lashell Thornton. I learned that God gives favor over and beyond when you leave things in his hands. I learned that family will always be there no matter what and no matter what decisions you make they will be there when they fail or succeed. Did I want my marriage to succeed? YES! I wanted to grow old with him rocking on the front porch...but...AT LAST I will...just not with Chad. The grief hasn’t set in and people tell me it will but I keep holding on to the fact that I don’t have to anymore. I don’t have to be upset because I did everything I could of done. I can be happy knowing that everything I learned will be put to great use one day for my future husband. For now...I will enjoy being Miss Ashly Thornton and I look forward to concentrating on God, my son and myself. I dont have room for another and really want to take this time to get closer to God and the plan he has for me. So with that being said...AT LAST....I tell myself... CONGRATS, JOB WELL DONE, and its time to....MOVE ON! :)